I, We Wed

I feel like I've been to a lot of weddings. It's just a feeling, though, I don't think I've actually been to more than your average person. There's that wave in your mid-twenties when pretty much everyone you know gets married. Then there's another wave in the early to mid-thirties where you have the combo of the late bloomers getting married the first time and the second marriages of the people who pulled the trigger a little too early in the first round. You get some family weddings scattered throughout your life and the occasional "will you be my plus one?"

Most uncomfortable wedding of all time was probably when I was a plus one for Baldsug. It was a truly lovely wedding. The venue was the balconied function rooms at the top of a hotel overlooking Central Park. The happy couple could not have been, well, happier. The food was delicious, the company was delightful and the view, as you might have guessed, was spectacular.

Baldsug and I, on the other hand, were a hot mess. He had somehow forgotten his dress shirt. The only shirt he had available was one notch the dress side of a flannel shirt. Oh, and it was a deep magenta. It would not make friends with a tie so he went cravatless which gave him a look he proclaimed "Tony Soprano" even though it was before Tony Soprano even existed. I looked lovely in a fire engine red, rhinestone encrusted velvet knee length dress. Oh yeah, it went beautifully with the magenta not-flannel. During cocktails before the ceremony I overheard people whispering. It turns out that wearing red to a wedding is a bad thing. It's too flashy and is, it turns out, an affront to the bride. So I was already feeling bad when we sat down at the back of the very small gathering for the exchange of vows. The couple had written their own vows and they were the most uncomfortably personal vows I have ever heard. Now, wedding vows are supposed to be personal, I get that, and I admire this couple for being so open about their love. I think it probably means they really are meant to be. However, as the affronting, whorish mol on the arm of Tony Pre-Soprano I felt almost guilty hearing them be so vulnerable.

I'm sure nothing like that will happen tonight at my cousin's wedding. If nothing else I won't be wearing red and I'm family so I'm supposed to be there no matter what I'm wearing.

Got any fun wedding stories to tell? Please change the names to protect the innocent. Nobody's wedding deserves to be publicly trashed. We cannot, however, be expected not to question the occasional choice.

Weekender

I don't weekend well.

When I was in college I'd go home for the weekend and my mother would be difficult for the first day and angry for the second. It took me years to figure out that th efirst day was about how much she'd missed me while I was gone and the second was about how soon I was leaving. Mother doesn't bottle. So maybe this inability to adapt is genetic but it's probably just me.

I worry a lot about travel. I love to be other places but getting there is an issue. Do I have everything? Will I miss the plane/train/bus? How much does this cost? Will we make the connection? So I get to stations early and I actually relish the wait. So, going away for a weekend involves all that worry for 2 days. When I weekended a lot I'd always travel on Friday night, even if it meant arriving at midnight or later. If I didn't then what was the point? Wake up on Saturday, worry travel, arrive, just get settled, maybe do one thing, go to sleep, wake up and worry about traveling home. It's like I don't get a weekend at all. People who prefer to sleep at home on Friday and travel Saturday? I do not understand your species. Please enlighten me.

My current work schedule gives me a chronic three day weekend, which is ideal for my ilk. I can travel on Friday and Sunday and still have one glorious day of relaxation in between.

What's your travel M.O.?

Departing

Tomorrow I'm off for the Pacific North West. I've never been West of Texas so this is an exciting probe into new territory for me. I worry that I won't fit in or have anything to do since I'm not big on hiking or camping and my level of greenness is good but really not great. However, I already seem to have plenty on my plate for the week so it looks like I've got nothing to worry about.

Friday (tomorrow) I'll get into Portland, OR early and meet my family. We'll trek out to Mount Hood, settle in and hang out. Saturday is my youngest cousin's wedding. I expect it to be quite the party. Sunday it's back to Portland until I head to Seattle on Monday afternoon (by train!). I have a friend to see, donuts to eat and a bookstore in which to happily drown. Monday through Thursday I'll be in Seattle dining with an internet superstar, seeing a friend or two, eating cupcakes, checking out the ocean and watching people toss fish around for sport.

I am petrified but that's basically just how I roll in the run up to a trip. Any trip. Even the short ones. I'm also super excited and perfectly accessorized and have over 12 hours to finish packing. You know what I won't be packing, though? I won't be packing my laptop. I don't have a smart phone. You know what that means, right? It means no internet for me for a week. I suppose I might get a quick dose here or there but basically I'm going to live life unplugged. There will be some pre-written posts coming at you while I'm away so maybe you won't even notice I'm gone. (Tell me you'll notice, please.)

I'll miss you but we could probably use some time apart, don't you think? Have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Drum Line

As I walked through the park on the way home last night I had my iPod blasting so I only saw the hunched figure of a be-sweatshirted young man working his big African drum. I could hear his bass beats over my musical theatre selections and noticed that he was playing a phrase and waiting, playing a phrase and waiting. It was as if he was waiting for someone's response. Finally I acted like a grown up and took out my ear buds to hear what was really going on. There was, it turned out, a young, curly headed dude sitting on another bench across the small field and they were doing a little call and response. Mr. Sweatshirt then dug in for a long sentence. It was clear, to me at least, that he wanted to get a whole paragraph going, a dialogue even, but Mr. Curly wasn't getting it. He kept waiting his turn but the phrase was too long, it had too many clauses for him to parse. People were walking by, smiling at the fact of these drummers jamming in our little corner of the borough even though the song wasn't smooth or practiced in any way.

This weekend all the bloggy things, the things that have snagged on the inside of my brain and wanted to be told have been completely unbloggable. I simply cannot convey pure sights and sounds and those were the things that were grabbing my attention. To try and re-create them here for you would have been stilted like yesterday's drumversation.

About half an hour later I was walking the other way through the park with the dog and Mr. Curly had trekked over the dale to sit with Mr. Sweatshirt. Heads bent, they were working together on something longer, if not more intricate. It was mostly drowned out by the frustrated directions of twenty soccer players and the orders for calisthenics being shouted at the newbie football players but it was there.

I wish you could have heard it.

10 Philosophical Forays

The other day I alluded to some elaborate dramas I may once have, um, erected in the service of spicing up a relationship with a student of philosophy. Grammar Snob has asked, nay demanded, that I elaborate for today's 10 Things. Against my better judgment I plan to comply.

1. To begin at the beginning there is, of course, Plato. A toga always did nicely for that, plain and simple.

2. Aristotle, not surprisingly, also a toga. This one had to be a lot more elaborate, though, and there was a wreath of laurels, too, all in service of the striptease portion of the evening. Aristotle is a lot more dramatic than Plato.

3. Chrome asked to borrow my Heidegger mustache. She's more than welcome to it but she ought to know that it was...strategically placed.

4. We don't always think of Ben Franklin as a philosopher but he was. I had an extensive rig for that involving a kite and a key and a lot of string. Went through batteries like a mother but totally worth it.

5. I have to say that the Thoreau get up just wasn't my favorite. I didn't so much mind the scratchy grasses and leaves but the endless jokes having to do with the state of "Walden Pond" got tiresome and I inevitably wound up with "ants all over my picnic," if you will.

6. Descartes was a lifesaver. That whole "I think therefore I am" thing was my philosophical answer to "Honey, I've got a headache." The man in question would counter that our Rene would have been more of a tantric kind of a guy but I stood my ground. That generally led to a rousing discussion which served my purpose by getting the man's mind on some actual philosophy and getting me my much-needed rest.

7. At some point we strayed from the hard line of our purpose, if you'll pardon the expression. We decided we could delve into some modern day "philosophers." Some of you might have gone with Lennon or Presley or even Cobain. Being children of the 80s we got a lot of mileage out of The Material Girl. The Madonna get-up worked every time. I think it had something to do with all that crinoline.

8. As I alluded to before there was a John Locke phase. It wasn't so much an exploration of his philosophy as it was a series of puns about locks, keys and the limiting of each other's basic social liberties. 4 stars, I highly recommend.

9. Near the end we devolved into an unofficial homage to Sun Tzu. I would have preferred a little Marxism because I was certainly not seeing any "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" going on. I will give The Art of War it's due, though, I prefer to go out with a bang than a whimper.

10. Oh, and I'm sure you're wondering about the most obvious one. For Freud, just a cigar. 'Cause sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and that's a very good thing.

Jewel Of A Day

Today has been prep day. The prep day for a short week and leaving town for a regular sized week (departure on Friday) and all the attendant worries and logistics. I'm stocked up on pet food. My fridge is clean. I've written and done laundry and prevented blisters. I have also processed a whole bunch of pictures. The Mermaid Parade set is complete. Next up? Lobsterbake!

Linked Up

I am a wee bit scattered and relaxed so I thought some links might be nice today. For instance, I spent a few hours yesterday and today finishing a book by Ann Packer, Songs Without Words. She wrote The Dive From Clausen's Pier, which is one of my favorites. This is not, I think, quite up to that but it was well worth time spent lying in the rumpled sheets taking it in.

My friend Leon has started a new site, The Edible Torah, which passes along the lessons he and his community have been teaching each other for years. Good recipes and good questions that I think will keep you hungry, in a good way, for quite some time.

Jen Carlson over at Gothamist makes a nice case for us to celebrate Independence for a whole week instead of one measly day. Did you know the 4th was just one of the days in the middle when some states signed? Similar to some of the bull that's going on in NY State currently NY was the last state to ratify, they were nervous, didn't know what to do. Ah, dithering politicians, it seems history does indeed repeat itself.

My friend Rick's friend Margaret passed away and he posted a very funny Christmas poem she wrote. It's not Christmas but I think you'll enjoy it anyway.

Over at Feministing Samhita asks, "why is racial discrimination only considered an offense when it is women or people of color being biased against whites?" in regard to an overturned ruling about an employment test and the employees who passed it in a Connecticut fire department.

This OK Rep, Sally Kern, and her "moral crisis" foolishness needs to be nipped in the bud. On the other hand I thank her for reminding me that not only do people still think that way but they are able to muster enough fellow feeling to be elected to office. Beware, my friends, beware. But I'm sure you are, you're all smarter than I.

A little while back Mihow did an informal survey of what her readers were paying for health insurance. Most of her responses came from NY and CA interestingly enough. The comments are interesting reading, as long as you equate interesting with petrifying. I wished that more people, myself included, had been as specific about co-pays and in-network requirements as they were about monthly premiums. Share over there or over here if you like, I think this is another case of knowledge being power.

What are you reading this weekend?

On Liberty

"WHAT, then, is the rightful limit to the sovereignty of the individual over himself? Where does the authority of society begin? How much of human life should be assigned to individuality, and how much to society?"

- John Locke
- On Liberty

I've been thinking a lot about re-reading On Liberty. Thank you to that one ex-boyfriend with the philosophy fetish*. In 1869 (a mere 100 years before my birth) the distinguished Mr. Locke published his thoughts on liberty, democracy and the individual. These questions begin the 4th section of the treatise, Of The Limits to the Authority of the Society Over The Individual. They are questions people all over the world, and especially I think, in America have been wrestling with both before and since. Doesn't look like the debate is going to be settled any time soon.

And that's a good thing.

Happy Independence Day, y'all, may your burgers have just the right amount of cheese, your hot dogs a perfect slathering of relish and your beer be deliciously cold.


*If you think this means I had to dress up as famous philosophers to get laid, well...I'm not going to correct you.

'Night 'Night

I was going to write about some of my many quirks regarding travel today but my mind is elsewhere.

Our dear O'Mama is losing a friend. In accordance with the rules of this house, please give your pets a good scritch and many, many extra treats today. If you feel they must earn their treats may I suggest one for each breath they take. "Good breathing, lovey, good breathing."

And if you've got a little love left over for the O'Mama family that wouldn't go amiss either.

The Lead Up

I love commuting on the week leading up to a holiday. Especially when the kids are already out of school. The streets of my neighborhood are quiet, there's always a seat on the train, and there are fewer elbows in every station as the week wears on.
Since I always have Fridays off I could choose whether to take Thursday or Monday and I went with Monday. It didn't really occur to me that everyone would be getting tomorrow off so today would be like a pre-holiday Friday. I've got a messenger package languishing at the station because offices were closed at times I really didn't expect.
I'm not headed out of town. I'm headed to dinner. I'll have a full, normal (for me) Friday tomorrow and I'll spend my three day weekend relishing the empty streets. I like spending holiday time in the city, it's like everyone just moved to the side so I could pass. Not because I smell or anything, just because it's the nice thing to do.
Travel safely, my friends, and celebrate well.

Fine Finned Friend

My fine finned friend is feeling a little under the weather. Please send healing vibes.

This may be my favorite shot of the day. Might have to print and frame it.

I added a few more shots to this year's Mermaid Parade set if you're interested.

10 Picturesque Things

10 things about my photography class since writing about it essay style is clearly not working for me.

1. I think I owe everyone who has gotten a photo shoot from me a new session free of charge because I know a lot more now. Some of it I learned from doing your shoot and a lot of it I learned from this class. Feel free to contact me to get that debt repaid.

2. I took the class at The International Center for Photography (ICP) which, as the name suggests, is kind of hoity toity. At first I was scared that it would be too difficult for me and I would be the least knowledgeable person there. Then the confirmation letter stated more than once, "No point and shoot cameras allowed!" and I wondered if the class would be too easy, covering things like the on button and the auto focus feature. It was just right. I learned a lot of technical stuff that I would never have guessed I needed to know and some things that I knew a little about and some things that I'd known a long time ago but that had become jumbled in my mind over time. I had to work to keep up but I didn't feel in over my head.

3. The teacher was Maynard Switzer, a travel, portrait and fashion photographer who apprenticed with Richard Avedon. He switched fully over to digital photography about 6 years ago and as he learned the differences between it and film photography he realized that a lot of photographers, even professionals, hadn't tumbled to the adjustments that needed to be made. He decided to give this introductory course to ensure that people were getting a good foundation. I would take any course he taught from macrame to composition and everything in between, he's that good. Unfortunately for me he makes a fine living actually taking photographs and this is the only teaching he does regularly.

4. Not the first thing he said but one of the biggest and simplest was to explain why he recommends shooting in RAW. The files are much larger, you can't attach them to things or e-mail them to people but, if you're doing any post-processing to your images, then RAW gives you more options. RAW provides you with more data to manipulate. If you shoot in JPEG you're letting the camera make a lot of choices for you and, though we learned to make the most of the settings in the camera, it is a much less powerful and detailed computer so you're losing a lot of versatility. Hence my switch to RAW and my need for a new hard drive and a new memory card. Not to mention the fact that I'm probably going to break down and get Photoshop Elements or something so I'm not using the free photo software from Apple. I think that'll open up even more options for me.

5. At one point he looked around the room, stood up and set down his notes. He then proceeded to explain how nervous we were making him and showed us very specifically how to wrap our camera strap around the lens every time we set it down to reduce the likelihood of someone snagging the strap and dragging our expensive equipment to its death. It's the little things, right? That's kind of a no-brainer and yet, despite the numerous close calls I've had, I never thought of it.

6. I learned a really simple thing about focusing that I'd taught myself previously but never felt confident about. Let's say that you're using autofocus and you are looking at a little kid in a field of daisies. You want the little kid to be in focus, you don't so much care how focused the daisies are but you want the kid to be in the lower right hand corner of the photo. Using autofocus you just put the kid in the center of the lens, half press the shutter to focus, move the lens to frame the shot as you prefer without lifting your finger from the button then finish depressing the shutter to take the picture. Voila. For example I used it here and you'll see it a lot in the mermaid photos once we hit the beach.

7. I understand aperture or Fstop or the amount of light one's lens is letting in on a given shot now. That's always been a little baffling to me for some reason but I keep having it explained to me by different people in different ways and this time I think I've got it. I don't know all the details but I know enough that I can shoot in Aperture Priority (I choose the Fstop, the camera chooses the shutter speed) with abandon.

8. I can also shoot in Shutter priority (I choose the shutter speed, the camera matches that to an Fstop) and, in a pinch, I think I could shoot full manual, I'd just have to work out which buttons will correspond to which command when I go full manual. Like shooting in RAW this means that I'm making more choices rather than letting the camera make them and that's better. At least for me it is.

9. When I walked out of that class I was afraid to pick up my camera. I had like 16 pages of notes and so many things that I was supposed to try so I could decide for myself what worked and like 10 things I was always supposed to do and know and check before I made a move. It was overwhelming. I forced myself to take a few photos at lunch and then basically put down the camera for about 3 days. I finally made myself take it on a dog walk to the park and made myself use some of the knowledge, just what I could remember, no note reading as I walked. So now I've gotten a few things solidly under my belt. I read over my notes on the bus up to New England earlier in the month but haven't used them again, even to write this post. So it's about time to dig a little deeper. Perhaps on the plane ride to the West Coast next week.

10. The expense of this "hobby" or "outlet" hit me full force. In order to process and store photos it's not practical to be running obsolete or hand me down computer equipment and that's what I have. Though I can do a lot with the lens I have, I could do much more with two, or even one more and lenses can be very expensive. A flash, something that would facilitate indoor and portrait photos, is also not cheap. Plus I'd also probably need to take a flash class. This class helped me to figure out that I don't learn well from non-narrative non-fiction. Instruction booklets are good to refresh my memory but for learning new concepts I need to have a lecture demonstration. There's the software I mentioned above and the camera bag I bought on Friday, too. I can go along quite well with the equipment I have and the skills I have but in order to make it to a new level (not something that needs to happen immediately, I just got to this level) I'll require an infusion of cash. I don't see that happening right now, but I'm going to try. I hear this "manifesting" thing is all the rage.

*You may get another 10 things post about this subject or perhaps an essay even. This doesn't cover everything I learned in my class but it's a good start.

Do Yourself A Favor, You Deserve It

Buy this CD.

I haven't heard a note of it. I haven't even heard stories about the recording of one note of it. I still feel entirely secure in recommending the new solo disc from my good friend, the excellent Carolann Solebello, because she's a woman who does nothing partially assed. It's whole assed or nothing and she has the talent and the dedication to back up all of her dreams. Of late she's been devoting her musical efforts to being one third of Red Molly. As they've built a larger audience they've been able to rest, write and follow their inspiration to other projects, the better to feed the trio in the long run. Carolann's inspiration led to a new solo CD (and a chorus of "Finally!" was heard from her fans) that I can all but guarantee you will love. Don't take my word for it, let's get some quotes.

Well, sure, I like her pretty well. I married her, didn't I?
- MAB

Carolann sings like an angel!
- Carmencita's sister

Mommy, shhhhh!
- Music Kid

Now, I suppose you could wait until Christmas to buy yourself a present but how much better to buy it for yourself now then come Christmas you can get it for everybody else!

Congratulations my friend! I can't wait to hear every single note.

(Looks like I'll have an opportunity to barter for my copy this week or next.)

(I might have taken a little poetic license with a couple of these quotes. Just a little. One of them is precisely accurate, though, I promise.)

(I didn't ask if I could use the photo since I was using it to promote the CD. It's a risk, I know, and I will take it down if anybody asks. In the meantime another reason to buy the CD is so you can read the jacket and tell me who gets photo credit!)

Glee Club!

The computers are backed up, the pictures are uploaded and I've begun the processing. I put up a bunch today and I'll do the rest as time wears on. It's going to take a while, though. I took over 300 that day. So go check out the Flickr set and check back as I add more.

This one is a favorite. I love to see my friend happy and I fell in love with this pirate. He had a flask in his boot and I only wish we could have sat on the curb, and had a slug or two and kept laughing with him and his friends. If perchance he'd whisked me away to his pirate ship to, er, walk his plank, if you will, I also would not have objected even a little.